The Do's and Don't's of Homesickness
by Dana Donovan
Spring approaches, and summer camp is right around the corner. Camp is a unique environment that promotes growth and independence. What’s more, for many families in today’s plugged-in society, camp is the first real separation kids and parents have experienced. As this milestone approaches, many parents worry about how their kids—and they themselves—will cope with the happy campers’ potential bouts of homesickness.
Research indicates that homesickness is normal, and that it is common for campers and parents to feel the effects of homesickness at some point during the kids’ camp session.
So how can parents help? The American Camp Association® (ACA) recommends the following list of “do’s and don’t’s” for families to use when dealing with homesickness:
- DO encourage independence throughout the year. Practice separations, such as sleepovers at a friend’s house, can simulate the camp environment.
- DO involve your child in the process of choosing a camp. The more that the child owns the decision, the more comfortable the child will feel being at camp.
- DO understand the camp’s philosophy on how issues like homesickness are addressed. Talk candidly with the camp director to understand his or her perspective on your child’s adjustment.
- DO discuss what camp will be like before your child leaves. Consider acting out situations they may encounter at camp, like using a flashlight to find the bathroom at night.
- DO reach an agreement ahead of time about calling each other. If your child’s camp has a “no phone calls” policy, honor it.
- DO send a note or care package ahead of time so that it arrives on the first day of camp. Acknowledge, in a positive way, that you will miss your child. For example, you can say, “I’m going to miss you, but I know that you will have a really good time at camp.”
- DO pack a personal item from home, such as a stuffed animal.
- DON’T bribe. Linking a successful stay at camp to a material object sends the wrong message. Your child’s newfound confidence and independence, plus the experiences he or she has at camp, should be the rewards of the camping experience.
- DON’T plan an exit strategy. If a “rescue call” comes from the child, offer calm reassurance and put the time frame into perspective.
- DON’T feel guilty about encouraging your child to stay at camp. For many children, camp is a first step toward independence and plays an important role in their growth and development.
- DO trust your instincts. While most incidents of homesickness will pass in a day or two, approximately 7 percent of the cases are severe. If your child is not eating or sleeping because of anxiety or depression, parents should work with the camp director and other camp staff to evaluate the situation and bring the child home if necessary.
- DO remember that camp staffs are trained to ease homesickness.
- DON’T make your child feel like a failure if his or her stay at camp is cut short. Focus on the positive and encourage your child to try camp again next year.
For many families, the first time they send their child to camp is one of the biggest “letting go” moments in their child’s life thus far. If your child is like most kids, he or she will love it. Make sure you and your kids are prepared…then sit back, hold your breath, and watch them soar!
