Teen Depression, Cyber-Bullying, and Social Media
by Mary Jo Rapini
Q: “I recently read about how Facebook can cause depression in teenagers and wanted to get your opinion. My daughter already has self-confidence issues, and I want to know what signs I should look for in her behavior to determine whether or not Facebook is causing depression in her.” -Rebecca from Bellaire
A: There have been a number of studies conducted in recent years concerning whether teen Facebook users are likely to experience an increase in depression. While it seems that teens who use Facebook are more likely to be depressed than teens who don’t, researchers disagree on whether this is a new type of depression or an extension of existing forms of depression. Teens who suffer from low self-esteem, school stress, and/or family stress are vulnerable to depression to begin with. The number of friends they have on Facebook, their status as well as the status of their friends, and the constantly updated photos may add to a teen feeling self-critical and not “popular” enough. It can also be another venue for teens to be ostracized, bullied, or teased. In other words, Facebook may exacerbate problems that already cause teens to feel depressed.
Social networks help teens feel more connected. They have become the place teens “hang out.” However, if a teen does not feel he or she measures up to his or her peers, social networks can become constant reminders of perceived shortcomings. In extreme cases, suicide notes have been posted on Facebook, demonstrating the power of the network in the minds of these young people. Social networks offer teens a skewed view of the world, and they lack the experience necessary to put that view in perspective.
If the teen’s family is not engaged with the teen, the social network takes on a much more potent place in the teen’s world. In fact, it may become the child’s world. Pediatricians are now encouraging parents to talk with their kids about being online and teaching parents how to recognize depression caused by social media, cyber-bullying, sexting, and other online risks. Below are ten signs your teen may be depressed:
1. Loss of interest in activities, hobbies and other things they used to be very interested in
2. More isolated—never see them with their friends anymore
3. Sleeping all the time or up in the middle of the night because they cannot sleep
4. A loss or increase in appetite
5. Notable weight loss or gain
6. Lethargic or flat mood
7. More irritable or easily frustrated
8. A downward trend in grades
9. Not wanting to go to school
10. Weepy, labile moods
If you see any of these signs in your teen and they last more than two weeks, it is time to talk to your teen and make an appointment with your pediatrician for an evaluation of depression. Depression is insidious, and many times teens won’t know they are depressed until the depression lifts. Depression can kill, but it is also curable.
Below are signs your child may be the victim of cyber-bullying. Please note that many of these signs mimic signs of depression. Parents should intervene right away when they see any of the signs listed below. Waiting two weeks may be too long.
1. Hesitant to be online; nervous when an instant message, text message, or e-mail appears
2. Visibly upset after using the computer or cell phone, or suddenly starts to avoid them
3. Hides or clears the computer screen, or closes his/her cellphone when you enter the room
4. Spends considerably more time than usual online; seems more tense or pensive when doing so
5. Withdraws from friends, falls behind in schoolwork or wants to avoid school
6. Suddenly sullen, evasive, or withdrawn
7. Trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, excessive crying or moodiness
8. Suspicious phone calls, e-mails, and/or packages arriving at your home
9. Drop in academic performance
As parents, sometimes we need subtle ways to talk to our kids about social media. It is important to keep the lines of communication open and talk often to our kids about the dangers and the benefits of social media and other forms of electronic communication.
If you are concerned about talking to your child about social media sites, sexting, and/or cyber-bullying, here are some simple conversation starters from TrueCare.net that may be useful for you. True Care is a social media monitoring service for parents, for which I am an advisor. Hopefully, these questions and conversation starters will help you transform a quick after-school chat into an in-depth discussion about stress, popularity, depression, and social media.
1. Has anyone ever emailed or posted something on Facebook that made you uncomfortable?
2. Do kids at your school ever talk about sending sexy photos to each other? Do you know anyone that does it? Why do you think they do it?
3. Have you heard about anyone that has been bullied online? What happened to them?
4. Has anyone you know gotten in trouble for being a bully online? What happened to them?
5. Did you hear about that girl that committed suicide because she was bullied online? Why do you think she did that? Do you think her parents saw a difference in her behavior?
6. What advice would you give a friend who told you they were being bullied online?
It’s a new world out there, for parents as well as children. Get involved. Talk to your kids. Visit the sites they are visiting. Let them know you are there when they need you. The teen years are relatively short, but decisions made during this time can change both your and your child’s lives forever. Help your child make healthy choices.
For more information, go to www.maryjorapini.com, talk to me on my Facebook fan page, or tweet me @ MaryJoRapini.
Join me on Tuesday morning at 8a.m. with Maria Todd and Brad Booker on Mix 96.5. Join me every Thursday morning on “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” on Fox 26 Houston at 9 a.m. Join me every Friday morning on Fox 26 Houston for “Healthy Happy Hour” and learn how to make your relationship healthier.
