Potty Training
by Jan Davis, M.D.
Talk to the Doc — July 2011
Mother Nature intends for it to be a fact of life, but sometimes Father Time steps in and holds things up. We’re talking about potty training.
Actually, almost everybody talks about potty training. An Internet search pulls up more than one million results on the topic. Even Dr. Phil has a page on it, not to mention Lance Armstrong.
But no matter how much reading parents do, it’s not going to happen until their little one is ready. It’s up to the moms and dads to get them to that point. I recommend planting the potty training seed by the time the child turns 2.
Beginning to Potty Train
There are endless options out there when it comes to making potty time fun.
There are books, ranging from demure titles like Once Upon a Potty to the more in-your-face Everyone Poops.
There are videos, starring Elmo or Dora or Barney or Bear in the Big Blue House.
There’s singing and dancing, rhymes and games.
All of these are great, but sometimes the best example for your child is…you.
Let him watch Dad. Let her watch Mom. Get the child’s big brother involved, let his or her big sister lead the way.
When your toddler starts getting excited about doing it all by himself, bring on the potty.
Pick a Potty
The potties of today have come a long way from the potties of yesterday. There are convertible potties that can be turned into stepping stools, portable potties with padding, and potty seats that rest atop the big-people potties.
It’s important to pick one that your child will be comfortable on. Lots of kids don’t like the wobbly feeling of a potty seat on top of the commode, not to mention they don’t feel grounded when their feet can’t touch the floor.
Potty chairs are a good option in that case, but remember that someone will have to do the dumping of the contents after the fact, and you’ll still have to get your child up on the big potty at some point anyway.
Really, this is just a matter of personal preference.
But one thing is for sure. Get the potty, then…
Ditch the Diapers
It used to be that most kids were potty trained by the age of 2, but these days, the average is closer to 3. Why? Because we’ve gotten lax. Super-absorbent pull-ups and disposable diapers make it easy to postpone potty training. A generation ago, parents had to wash cloth diapers, so they had great incentive to get their little ones doing their business in a flushable manner.
Put the kids in big-boy or big-girl underwear so they learn how uncomfortable it feels to be wet. Doing this always helps facilitate the process, but parents have to be willing to mop up the occasional puddle and clean up after an accident.
There’s no doubt, kids are comfortable in diapers. You see a 2-year-old standing behind the sofa, red in the face and straining. You ask him if he needs to use the potty, and he adamantly denies the need.
Sometimes this is just normal obstinate toddler behavior, but other times it’s because he’s scared.
Have No Fear
Some kids are afraid of feeling like they’re losing control, so they’ll hold in a bowel movement. Sometimes they do it just because they can. This can become a battle of the wills between parent and child.
But stubbornness is one thing, fear another. Kids don’t like to see parts of them flushed away. This is where parents can step in and demonstrate that nothing bad happens when the handle is pushed. If your child is scared of the sound of flushing, wait until she’s out of the bathroom to flush.
Another thing worth mentioning here is deciding what to call toilet contents. Some parents prefer silliness or slang, others will refer to Webster, but the main point is to avoid words with negative connotations, like “stinky” or “dirty.”
Have Some Fun
Got a little guy? Let him loose with some Cheerios target practice, which will also teach him the importance of aiming. Got a little gal? Get her a doll that wets. She can hold the doll over the potty. Don’t be surprised if you hear her encouraging and soothing her dolly, just as you’ve been doing for her.
Reward the behaviors you want to encourage. It can be as simple as a clap and a cheer after a successful potty episode. Lots of parents love sticker charts. Whatever you choose, try to be consistent.
The “Bottom” Line
Most 2-year-olds have the skills they need to potty train and are very capable of catching on quickly. It’s their own resistance that slows them down. But rest assured, as hard as it might be to believe some days, your child will not totter off to kindergarten in diapers.
Your child is ready to potty train if s/he…
- can stay dry for at least two hours at a time, or is dry after naps
- can walk to and from the bathroom
- can help undress him- or herself
- seems uncomfortable in soiled diapers
You’re ready to potty train your child if you…
- have enough emotional energy to be consistent and persistent
- can be reasonably sure that no major life changes are in the works (such as moving, a new baby, or a family crisis)
