For many parents whose teens are just beginning their journey behind the wheel, driving is
already second nature. In fact, for many of us, driving has become so automatic and habitual
that it can be hard to slow down and explicitly teach specific skills. Practice and muscle memory
are a large part of driving successfully: this is why helping a teen learn how to drive requires
more than simply being a good driver yourself.
Following are some tips for helping your teen develop confidence in their driving skills:
1. Enroll them in driving lessons. Being a good driver and being a good driving teacher
are two different skill sets. One of the great advantages of enrolling your child in driver’s
ed is that you are affording them the opportunity to learn under someone who has both
skill sets mastered. “Driving lessons not only give teen drivers the benefit of increased
experience behind the wheel, but add value to the experience by providing individualized
support and feedback,” says Nigel Tunnacliffe, Co-Founder and CEO of Coastline
Academy, the largest driving school in the country and the 6th fastest-growing education
company in America according to Inc.com. “Working with a qualified driving instructor
ensures that every time a teen gets behind the wheel, they are working towards specific
goals and consciously developing new skills. This allows them to feel a real sense of
growth and improvement that goes a long way towards building up their confidence.”
2. Communicate openly. Open and respectful communication is an essential part of being
a good coach for your teen. Driving can sometimes be stressful, but it is important to
stay calm and do your best to give clear, specific instructions. Raising your voice can
make the experience more stressful for them and you, lessening their enthusiasm for
learning. It is also important to not take them out of their comfort zone or expect them to
know things they have not yet been taught. If they are enrolled in driving lessons, try to
make a habit of asking them to recap what they learned most recently. A great driving
school will provide feedback to both the learner and the parents so that the new driver
can get all of the help that they need. This creates a sense of continuity and ensures that
they are steadily building up their skill set rather than being suddenly thrown into
unexpected situations.
3. Practice regularly. Good driving requires a combination of muscle memory with a set of
keen safety instincts, as well as good observation and judgment skills. While these
topics can all be discussed in a classroom setting, the best way to truly learn and
internalize them is simply to practice. The most effective practice is that which is done
consistently and deliberately. Running errands is not high quality practice. A practice
sessions involves repeating skills that have been taught to reinforce the lesson, which
entails driving a thoughtful route without any time pressure. A licensed driving instructor
can provide input on what good practice sessions will consist of to solidify the skills that
they taught.
4. Make sure they’re comfortable. While it’s not unusual for teens to be itching to drive as
soon as they’re legally allowed to, not every teen feels this way. Some teens may not
feel ready to drive the moment they turn 16, and that is perfectly fine. Pressuring or
forcing your teen to get behind the wheel can cause them to develop an anxious,
negative attitude toward driving, creating habits that can take a lifetime to unlearn. Try to
encourage them, but let them take initiative, as this will help them feel more secure and
confident during practice sessions. If they are reluctant to drive, try to keep practice
sessions especially short, and work your way up to longer ones as they grow in
confidence.
5. Model good behaviors. Contrary to what we may think, the learning process does not
start once a child hits 15 or 16: in reality, it begins much earlier, as they observe you
driving from the backseat. If you frequently drive while distracted or are an especially
aggressive driver, your child may internalize these behaviors from a young age. If you
want to give your child a head start on safe driving, the best thing you can do is model
what that looks like from early on. “Teaching a teen to drive can be a great opportunity
for you as a parent to take stock of your own driving habits,” says Tunnacliffe.
“Reflecting on the habits you’ve developed over the years and identifying ways you
could improve your own driving will help you be a better teacher to them.”
Driving is a hugely important life skill, and learning it for the first time can be an intimidating
experience. As adults who have spent countless hours on the road, many of us forget just how
nerve wracking those first few experiences behind the wheel can feel. However, having a
supportive parent can make all the difference for a young person just beginning their journey. By
being positive, encouraging, and supportive, you can help your teen build foundational skills that
will help them stay safe for a lifetime.