By: Christina Whitten
One of my favorite meals to eat at home is spaghetti squash. They are delicious with your choice of spaghetti sauce and it’s a healthier option replacing the pasta that is heavy in carbohydrates. It’s cheap and you can use the seeds to grow in your own garden. It’s a simple and fast meal to make, if you can cut it in half. Here are five ways to unsuccessfully cut open a spaghetti squash:
1. Using a kitchen knife. One would think this is the only logical way to do it; stabbing and banging it against a counter, while the knife refuses to sink in further. An expensive sharp kitchen knife will look at this rock of a vegetable and quiver at the Herculean- like defense.
2. When your kitchen knife doesn’t work, it’s time to have some fun with this beast. Take the kids outside and throw it against a brick wall. Scratches may occur on the outside, but you will find that the vegetable is seemingly unharmed. How, you may ask, well I’m no rocket scientist (though it might take one to crack this thing open), but it seems that spaghetti squash seeds are dipped in vats of toxic waste and mutate into delicious, yet impenetrable vegetables.
3. When a brick wall doesn’t work, Max, the family dog, can take a whack at it. The dog that chews holes through strong leathered shoes. The dog that can chew through a Kong toy in minutes, when it’s supposed to last forever. The dog that reached up onto your counter, while you were away and pulled down the squash to chew on it and only left shallow bite marks.
4. When Max can’t even get it open, it’s time to go to the backyard and reach for the power tools. Husbands, rev your engines it’s time to finally dust off the unused chainsaw from three Christmases ago. Polish the chain, practice on oak trees; be safe and let-er-rip on the squash. If you take the saw to the squash, you will find that the strength of this vegetable will not succumb to one of the most powerful power tools in a man’s garage. The squash will simply go flying under the chain and break your wife’s favorite potted plant, still unharmed.
5. When the chainsaw doesn’t work, there is only one thing left to try. The Grandma. Skilled in the culinary arts and wise with years of worldly knowledge, this woman is the Kryptonite for all of today’s problems. Holes in shirts shrink at the touch of her sewing needles, grandchildren’s bellies don’t dare growl around her and misbehaving young men cower at her stern talking to. Take this beaten up spaghetti squash and somehow, just like magic, it’s cracked open in minutes. Try not to murder her out of frustration when she opens it after you went through all this. It’s not her fault she’s wonderful.
And so, you finally got the squash open and take out the mutant seeds. Bake it in the oven and scrape out all the delicious spaghetti. One might ask, was it worth it? All that work for one family meal? Let me just say, absolutely not.
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To those still interested in trying a spaghetti squash meal, here is a quick and simple recipe.
Spaghetti Squash Recipe
Step 1: Preheat oven to 400 degrees. (25 degrees more or less won’t really make a difference.)
Step 2: Cut squash in half and scrape out all the seeds, place squash halves on a pan face down with olive oil and salt. Having it face down will keep the moisture in there resulting in flavorful strands. Put it in the oven for 40-50 minutes or until tender to poke with a fork.
Step 3: Scrape out the noodles inside with a fork into a bowl. It should be easy coming out and shouldn’t be soggy(overcooked) or too crunchy(undercooked).
Step 4: Warm up and use your favorite spaghetti sauce, add and stir into squash noodles. I like to sprinkle shredded Colby Jack cheese and add salt and pepper if needed for flavor.
Step 5: Enjoy with a side of garlic bread.
