By Lauren Galley
I remember my first boyfriend, my first crush & that first moment of feeling the ultimate….In Love! I felt so excited and nervous that I didn’t stop to think about the important recipe of determining if he was one of the “Good Guys.” Though it is easy to believe your guy is the one, it is hard to know for sure. If you have a daughter you’ll want to share my tips and strategies on determining whether her guy is Prince Charming, or just another frog! Moms tell me all the time that they wish their daughter would listen to their suggestions, but we girls always want that peer or friend to look up to. So, here’s my TEEN TAKE on that first love.
1. How does he treat you?
Make sure he does not try to convince you of anything you feel is not appropriate. If he does this, then RUN. He is most definitely a frog, and there are no excuses for this kind of behavior! Pay care to whether or not he is controlling. If he often tells you what to do, attempts to run your life, or influences your feelings to get what he needs, look out! This guy is unconfident and thinks that he has the higher hand in your relationship. Prince Charming will be confident with you and let you be who you are. Note whether or not he preserves you from his guy friends. If he declines to comprise you in his plans for the weekend, and evades letting you know what he and the guys did last evening, he clearly is not eager to comprise you in his life and may even be up to something questionable. Pay attention to whether or not he refers to your upcoming days. If the two of you are not in the phases of a relationship wherever you agreeably converse about upcoming opportunities, pay care to whether or not he drops any suggestions. Even something minor, like speculating what the two of you will do for an occasion that is at the minimum a few weeks ahead, is a great sign. If he does not talk about your future together, then he may not think you have one, which makes him a frog. In middle school and high school sometimes it seems as though girls (and boys) jump from one relationship to another quickly. This is normal… Don’t beat yourself up if he decides after a few months he doesn’t want to date anymore. This stage of dating isn’t about getting married, it’s about having fun and learning the ins and out of communicating with each other! Keep it fun!!
2. How does he make you feel?
I hope you feel like Wonder Woman when you’re with him. He should make you feel like a champion. You should feel like you can be anyone and do everything when you are with him. You should be fearless of the tests in your life, since he makes you self-assured that you are brave and strong enough to get through any challenges you may be facing. When you are with him, you should feel like you can take on this Earth and win. Make sure you feel contented acting like your authentic self in front of him. This does not just mean being that “goofy you” that only your family or best friends know, it means allowing him to see you exposed, whether it is lacking make-up, following an intense cheer practice, when you are frightened, or while you are crying about the Notebook for the millionth time. If he makes you feel this way, he just might be Prince Charming. However, if he makes you feel weak or you are not happy being yourself in front of him, then maybe he is not the one… AKA a frog.
3. Is he Genuine?
If he’s a “Good Guy” he will think of thoughtful genuine ways to spend time with you. Texting all the time is NOT a positive sign…He might just be a FROG! Let’s face it, boys in school don’t have much money and many times don’t have access to a car, BUT don’t let that be his excuse. There are several ways you can enjoy the day together and not spend any money. Some of my best dates have been taking a walk in the park with or without a picnic. A Subway sandwich and a blanket can be pretty perfect on a nice day. Cooking is tons of fun. This requires laughter, fun, and sometimes a flour fight which in my opinion is way better than staring at the TV. Sometimes, it’s the little things that create amazing memories and adds so much value to a relationship. Ok, he might not be great at thinking of these things so suggest away. If he doesn’t take the bait, he is definitely a FROG!
The most important advice I can give you when you’re dating is to be yourself. When you realize that your values don’t match up or that he is trying to control the way you are living your life, don’t simply alter yourself in order to keep the relationship alive. It is better to recognize that he is not Prince Charming now, because trust me… The longer you hold onto a relationship, the more heartbroken you are going to be in the end. Sometimes you may find yourself Kissing Frogs In Search of Prince Charming… And that is okay.