Local advice from local mom, Desrye Morgan. Although Desrye’s baby is all grown up, she still has great advice for mom’s just getting started. As someone who has truly ‘been there & done that’, Desrye offers some great tips and tricks for new moms!
Name: Desrye Morgan
Location: The Cannon
Looking back over your motherhood journey – What piece of advice would you give moms with kids ages 0-3?
Be present, be human and be vulnerable!!!The moments go quickly, cherish them. Each development will bring different experiences. Motherhood and parenting does not end at 18, it’s forever. Don’t get bogged down in stuff and miss the joy.
What piece of advice did you hear all the time about motherhood that turned out not to be true?
The appropriate family dynamics. That a Single African American women cannot raise a successful, well-balanced son. I was told a man had to be in the house. Yes, it is a challenge, but the negativity did not apply to my home. Take away, don’t let third party advice guide your parenting. It’s ok to consider, but use your best judgement. My son is thriving. He was raised in a structured, creative middle class single mother home. He quickly learned who he is and who’s he is.
What is the best thing about being a mom and what is the hardest?
Being a good mother, from delivery through every stage of development and beyond is a challenging yet most rewarding undertaking. Even at 31, hugs from my son is soul-stirring. One of the hardest was educating. As a mother you are better at some skills than others. My weakness was educating. I would help Josh with his homework and he would get the assignment wrong or helping him, because of my lack of patience would be a battle. Determining what school was the best fit. Truly the hardest thing about being the mother of an African American male was the teaching fear of “DWB”(Driving while back) and how to deal with racial injustices towards him.
Any advice for those that want to know how to best support moms?
Having “me time” is a luxury for a mother. Arrange a few hours, day or weekend for a bit of “me time “‘. Support, listen and be present for her. It could be as simple as an encouraging text message
When your kiddo was younger – what was your favorite way of spending time together
Wow, that was a long time ago. Social media and all the technology we have now, did not exist when my son Joshua was growing up. It does not have to be fancy. Just uninterrupted presence. Josh and I enjoyed retro games like pick up sticks, Chinese checkers and jacks. We spent lots of time in exploring museums and the joy of art, dancing to Michael Jackson and because I did not have a choice lots of basketball.
How has motherhood changed you?
Motherhood made me a better person. I learned as much as I taught. The depths of Motherhood awakened me, colors became brighter, sounds are crisp and you truly see the simple things God has created and we take for granted like the sky, blades of grass the curiosity in my son’s eyes. I learned gratitude and surrender, which for a A-type control attorney, learning to surrender were interesting lessons.
What is one thing you wish you would have done differently when you were a young mother.
My son’s father and I divorced when he was 6 years old, I wish I could erase that pain it caused him and that the situation would have went differently. As a single mother balancing a demanding career, I wish I could have been more present, not just physically, but truly emotionally and mentally present without distractions Thanks Desrye Morgan for speaking with us today! Other advice: Advice from local mom, Marianna Corcoran Advice from local mom, Melissa Willaims